Boy Scouts(One of the many things I quit with no regrets)

 Getting Started

(This counts as a good time)

            My memories of Scouts start with when I was putting on my Cub Scout uniform to go to the first meeting. It was exciting to have a shirt and weird handkerchief thing that you used to secure the yellow bandanna, it was sweet!!!! (I get the appeal for parents, I don’t want to brag but I am sure I looked good in the uniform, also the fact the adults are forced to wear that outfit ever is one of the reasons Boy Scouts is weird) I was ready to go see all my other friends that were going to be at the meeting. (Important to note that in no way was I out to make new friends, I was never and have never been that brave socially) When I got there it was everything I thought it would be we get a book that will help us earn patches or badges? (I am going with patches from here on) and there are a lot of patches. Of course as a kid you don’t realize the amount of work that is going to be required to earn all these cool looking patches you just see the kid on the book that has them all. Pretty sure I left that meeting thinking this is going to be an amazing experience, but honestly I realized it wasn’t all that great pretty quick.

The Good Times

(There had to be some right?)

            Two words, Pinewood Derby. You get a block of wood and you get to make a car to race against everyone else. FUCKING AWESOME. Really thought it was only great because my Dad ended up “helping” me build it. Basically I drew some awful design that cut out looked like…………well it looked like a kid who sucked at drawing, had tried his hand at drawing an awesome car. (So basically it looked like anything but a car) My dad and I spent about 3 weeks working on these cars (this includes putting graphite on the wheels every day for the last 2 weeks). In the end my car ended up looking somewhat like a car mostly because it had wheels on it, but those damn wheels would spin for what seemed like forever (In fact I would like to think that if the people running this Derby had been serious about it they would have disqualified my car). When it was race day my car destroyed everyone’s ( important to note that I didn’t even know I was doing good because after I saw my car race in its first heat I got bored and went to play with my other scout friends) and I ended up winning the whole derby. First prize was a big wood trophy to put your car on top of this was of course better than the small wood trophies everyone else got…………..Seriously way to spend the big bucks there cub scouts. (When I was quitting I learned the older scouts made the trophies, which helped explain the less than stellar quality of the trophies)

The Not So Good Times

(Seriously though it sucked)

            There were many many things that I never did well as a kid; going to the house of someone I didn’t like and working in groups were at the top of the list. Thankfully for me Scouts required me to do this on a weekly basis. (I think it was weekly…..it felt like it was daily). I hated these meetings. During one, the prize we got for completing our group exercise was an apple. (Don’t get me wrong I love apples. I have them in my fridge right now, but seriously I just went through some miserable crappy group activity and my award was an apple. Hey adults running this thing KIDS HAVE APPLES AT HOME) This is the first event I remember that made me start hating scouts. I remember getting the apple and thinking “fuck this I want out”. I looked at my friend who had the same expression on his face. While the adults were trying to figure out the next activity we were sent out to play tag. Fortunately, we were sent to the front yard and I saw an opportunity. I whispered to my friend as we were walking to the front “Let’s make a break for it and just go home” (don’t worry our houses were just down the street) So tag starts and my friend and I kind of play along, then right as the kid who was it ran away from us my friend and I took off at a sprint for home. Unfortunately for us that kid seemed to think we were still playing tag and started to chase us down. My friend being of sounder mind than me ducked into some bushes and disappeared, I knew I was finished. If I ran home I would get told on. So I let the kid catch me and went back to finish the meeting hating the world for forcing me to suffer like this (my friend ended up getting away and going home, I think they called his house but I don’t remember if he got I trouble or not. I do know I have never been more jealous of him than I was that night)

Camping

(The beginning of the end)

            By 5^th grade I was finally reaching my breaking point. I was ready to get out of scouts, but I didn’t really know how to do it without a parental confrontation. Making things worse there was a big camping trip coming up. (looking back on it now I remember my parents telling me that someone was going to make Chili and at the time I loved chili so I am pretty sure my parents were using that to try an make me want to go) So it is the week of the camping trip and as it gets closer and closer to the weekend I am quickly getting depressed. Then as luck would have it Thursday night I get sick. (I threw up in the middle of the night) Ha ha ha ha ha all my prayers had been answered (Seriously though I probably got sick from stressing about the camping trip) One problem though I had a spelling test the next day and while I felt slightly ill I didn’t want to miss this test. (I had missed one earlier in the year and didn’t do as well when I took it later on and yes I do know this makes me sound a little crazy)  So I go to school and actually puke again right before the test begins, come back take the test then tell my teacher that when he excused me to go to the bathroom I puked. (Honest to god true story he even talked to my mom about it at parent teacher conferences telling her how dedicated I was to school) Victory for me. I take my test get to go home and yes I miss the drive out to the campsite therefore missing the camping trip. All is well with the world in my eyes, then as I am going to bed Friday night my mom says “well if you are feeling better tomorrow morning Dad can drive you to meet up with everyone for camping”….fuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkk. The next morning I don’t have any vomit in me and I grudgingly get in the car. (The actual drive was nice, talking to my dad asking him some random questions about the great state of Colorado)

            When I arrive at camp I find out that Friday had been spent with the older Boy Scouts preparing for a great game of capture the flag. Since this was our first camping trip the “Cool” kids (they all had nicknames too that we had to use when the game started I think a good amount of them were from Top Gun to be honest maybe all of them were) were going to let us be on their team. I was less than psyched, new people new location telling me what to do. When the game started our job was to watch the base, so basically we sat there while these overzealous kids dressed in army fatigues and war paint went and captured the flag. (I would like to point out that while my team won I am pretty sure these idiot kids cheated the whole time I don’t really remember the rules to capture the flag but I am pretty sure they broke all of them)

            After all the “excitement” it was time for dinner. I knew that while so far camping at been as shitty as I thought it would be the fact that I was about to enjoy some chili gave this trip a glimmer of hope. Then dinner time arrives and I ask for some chili they pour it out of a thermos and I am immediately concerned. It came out of the thermos looking like soup. I told myself to remain calm maybe I was just imagining things. They hand me my cup of “chili” and I quickly realize that this stupid moron’s version of “chili” is beef stew. I knew I couldn’t throw it in his stupid fat face but I wanted to. (Seriously if that jackass is still calling whatever that shit was chili I hope someone has had the guts to call him an idiot)

            Basically this means I am going without dinner.(This would happen at home from time to time since I was and am a picky eater and yes I know my kids will be worse than me because karma pays attention to these things)  Which means at this point my mind is made up, camping was all the terrible things I thought it would be and more. Then, as all the adults are finishing dinner they have the nerve to tell us we have to do the dishes. Automatically I think, ‘fuck that I didn’t even eat anything’. I express my displeasure by pointing out that while I held one cup with a spoon in it I never actually used it, while everyone else was enjoying helping after helping of this poison. I get the classic response where they tell me I have to. I respond by going and sitting in my tent, wondering how far of a walk it would be from this campsite to my house(My go to when I am miserable is to just leave. I have walked many miles in my lifetime because of this)

The Lesson

            That was then end of scouts for me. I think there was another meeting or two but I knew I was out after camping ended up being as stupid as I thought it would be. So if I have a son that is anything like me when he wants to join scouts here is what I am going to say, “Son, the lows outweigh the highs, you likely won’t meet anyone you will like, most the adults in charge are idiots and most of what you learn will be irrelevant when you get older. So go play some Nintendo and let’s forget you ever brought up the idea joining Scouts” (ok probably not………but it would be the humane thing to do)

FACIAL HAIR (My #1 enemy)

Semi-quick note before my post: I see that it has been 2 years since my last written post. I was sitting around watching TV nothing was on so rather than waste my time I decided to grant the wishes of two or so people that have told me to write my blog again. I did change the name slightly because my wife Vanessa and I will be having a child soon(mostly Vanessa I just get to watch). I think people really want me to blog some of my thoughts on fatherhood but they will have to wait for now. I promise next week I will start from the finding out part and bring you up to date. At any rate here we go again……..

I will be turning 29 at the end of January and I can honestly say there has never been a time in my entire 28 years that I have enjoyed anything about facial hair. First I think it is important to point out that I grow creepy facial hair. It is light brown/blond so basically flesh colored and it does not even come close to looking attractive. I knew a long time ago when some kids were growing beards in 7^th grade and I was facial hair free that I was not going to have to worry about it for a long time. Well this worked well for me up to about the age of 26. Gone were the days of going 2 weeks without shaving and then quickly buzzing off 1mm of peach fuzz. Instead I would go a week then realize that I in fact looked like one of the confused 7^th grade kids that didn’t know how to shave or why they had to. Still, as long as I stayed fairly diligent I would look ok and I figured “hey at least I don’t have to shave twice a day or anything crazy like that” Well unfortunately for me it has gotten to the point where if I don’t shave every day I look less than pleasant. Only now rather than the 7^th grader beard, I have the look of a guy they would cast to play a rapist or serial killer on some show like Law & Order. (Don’t believe me? If there are enough of you that don’t, let me know and I will gladly post a picture on twitter)

At any rate all this shaving that I have had to incorporate into my life has left me thinking about all the different styles of Facial hair. Mainly because one day while rushing I did not have completely accurate shave and unfortunately for me I missed right under my bottom lip in the middle of the chin. I believe and I could be wrong, that this is thesingle douchiest facial hair style to have. (Soul Patch? I just googled it and I would say that while mine was a little less pronounced than those in pictures it was none the less there) Anyways as I was thinking to myself how stupid I must look. It came to me that this had to be how every terrible facial hair style comes into being. It is a combination of laziness and error.

 

Let’s seriously think about it for a second. Other than a mustache( which if we were progressing as a society would be banned by now) and beards( I am talking full on beards and I suppose I will give you the stubble beard that Hollywood somehow made popular) why did anyone think anything else looked even remotely close to ok. Here is a quick thought on the three or four facial hair styles I even know of:

1. Mustache. I am guessing this is a product of my Father’s generation. For some reason everyone wanted one and women either enjoyed laughing at them behind their backs or just didn’t care to realize how creepy it made them look. I don’t know when the tide turned but I would probably watch a movie about it.

2. Beard. I have two thoughts on beards. One if you are going with the light stubble beard, good for you but just know that every guy knows you had to clean it up to make it look Hollywood-esque. So why not just shave? My guess is because some drunk girl one time said it was a good look on you.

Two is the crazy beard. This beard is ideal if you want to either look crazy or crazy. I think the other theory is a good beard will make you look skinner. All I think when I see someone with a beard is how gross it must be when it gets in their mouth.

3. Goatee. Total product of the 90’s right? This tops my list as far as lazy facial hair goes. There is no way guys should think this looks good. It is just weird. Is it to hide cold sores? I mean that is the first guess I have. Is that why it seems cold sore commercials are aimed mostly toward women? They can’t grow a goatee, so they have to put something on it.

4. Soul Patch. The half day I had to suffer though my semi-soul patch was one of the worst self-esteem days I have ever had in my life. I can’t imagine purposely growing one and proudly walking out of my house.

5. Mutton Chops- I mean come on these are named after food. Seriously what made people ever think these were ok. I don’t know that anyone other than hipsters would grow these anymore and when Hipsters get involved nobody wins. Seriously can’t you see some old guy who has had them for years see a hipster with them and decide “Wow they must be making a comeback”  All while the hipster is thinking wow I bet that guy doesn’t even know I grew these ironically. They both keep them and society loses yet another battle to look intelligent

I am sure there are so many more out there but I don’t know them because I obviously want nothing to do with them.

So you ask, Why such a strong dislike? (I know you are only asking this question if you don’t know me, since I have some many dislikes my friends have grown accustomed to assuming I don’t like everything. This is fairly accurate by the way) Well the answer is fairly simple. Shaving is and will always be a major inconvenience. I know I look better when I do it, but the effort that goes into it is overwhelming. It is kind of ironic that as I get older I care less about what people think about my looks yet I have to do so much more just to avoid looking like a homeless person. So everyday I have to break out my electric razor (yes electric….commence laughing at me, but a real razor can cut me and that just seems crazy especially when they have crappy electric ones that just pull a hair every now an then) stare in the mirror and waste three to five minutes getting rid of the third most unnecessary hair a person can have. (Long nose hair and ear hair are 1 and 2, although back hair could replace either of those if it is bad enough) I do all of this just to avoid being mistakenly picked up and interviewed by police because my facial hair description matched that of the weird guy that has been parking his white van near a school or sorority. There has to be an easier way, but until then I guess I will have to suffer and silently judge those brave enough to wear their facial hair proudly.

Last note: In no way should this be interpreted as me thinking I am better than people with facial hair. I just know that I am not meant to have it.

Public Locker Rooms and Bathrooms

As I finally get ready to go back to the gym, I am trying to prepare myself for the disgustingness that is sharing anything with people you don’t know.  I know being out of shape is bad for my health, but I don’t think the people at the gym are good for my health either. 

I am only motivated to go to the gym if I go right after work.  Unfortunately, this means I will be forced to change in the locker room.  I dread the locker room.  First of all, there is no doubt that it is going to smell – especially during prime after work hours.  Someone undoubtedly has dropped a load in there, and there is no combating that.  Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed your enchilada platter with extra beans during your lunch break today.  I am also glad you decided to share it with the hundreds of other people that need to use the locker room.  Nothing beats walking through the already sweat-filled workout area to get hit by the aroma of the five pound lunch you had.  (Just so you know, that 2oo calories it took you an hour to burn off on the cardio equipment is probably half of the calories of one of your enchiladas.  Congratulations, you are still fat and you helped to ruin everyone else’s day.) 

Where is the decency anymore?  Are you the person at work that goes into the bathroom that everyone has to use, and then proceeds to sit there for 40 minutes with no courtesy flush, wrecking the whole place for hours? If you are, please don’t come up to tell me how awesome it is that you did that for 40 minutes while on the clock.  I am not impressed; merely disgusted.  Furthermore, you are probably the nasty jackass who walks out of the stall, splashes some water on your hands, run those same hands through your hair and then leaves.  (This is the single most heinous offense I experience when using public restrooms.  I am sure everyone appreciates the fact that you don’t feel you are gross in any way.  Unfortunately, you are the grossest person I know.  I wish I could put a note on your back so everyone would know what you are capable of.  You deserve no respect from anyone because obviously you only care about yourself.)

Alright, back to locker rooms.  While I am trying to breathe as little as possible, the second most uncomfortable thing is the nakedness.  I want to know at what point in life a guy comes to the conclusion that other people want to see him naked.  I think it must be around 45, maybe a little bit older.  Listen old man, I appreciate the fact that you have given up on life and have no self respect anymore but just because you have reached that point doesn’t mean I want to see you taking a seat on the bench that everyone else uses with no clothes on.  I am glad you had a good workout, but is it really that hard to keep your pants on?

I know if you have ever been in a public men’s locker room you have experienced this, and you have to be nodding your head.  I can probably describe the guy you see all the time, too. 

1.       No doubt he is covered in body hair (maybe this is why he is okay with being naked; he feels his fur coat covers up enough even though it doesn’t) 

2.       Certainly he has to dry his junk with his towel in one hand, barely covering anything up, while making some kind of exasperated noise… almost requesting someone to look (of course nobody does so this leads to him taking an extra minute to finish with this)

3.       Then, instead of starting to get dressed he loses the towel completely and, I can only assume, contemplates why he has no friends (I never stay in the locker room long enough to know how long this stage lasts, but I am sure it has to be close to 10 minutes)

4.       Finally, he puts on his underwear yet shows no real urgency to put on the rest of his clothes

5.       All in all, he finally leaves – at my best guess – 30 minutes after he finishes his workout (I have tried for the life of me to figure this out and still don’t understand it.  Are you spending this much time in the locker room because you have no other male friends and think this is a good place to meet them?)

How uncomfortable is it when your locker is right next to this guy? The first thought that goes through my head is, “Do I go back out to the gym and pretend to work out for another 10 to 15 minutes? I know I can’t hang out in here and wait, and I really might scream out in disgust if there is any contact.”  Just the thought of seeing that guy next to my locker gives me chills (and not the good kind).

This guy is contributing to the overall lack of cleanliness of public locker rooms and bathrooms.  I can’t stand the abundance of hair in bathrooms.  Are you really so hairy that every time you enter the bathroom you have to cover the toilet with a fine dusting of your disgustingness?  You can’t be clean if you are that hairy.  Are you using shampoo to clean yourself… because soap probably isn’t breaking through that fortress of hair.  Oh, and let’s mix the fact that there is hair everywhere with the fact that people can’t remember to flush.  I will not even cut you a break if you decide not to flush because you don’t want to waste water.  Guess what? I am going to flush the toilet if you didn’t, and I am going to do it before I use it. IN FACT I MIGHT DO IT TWICE SINCE I CAN’T TRUST HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN THERE AND WHAT MIGHT BE LINGERING.  Now all you have done is made my day worse and wasted even more water.

Gross.

Thanksgiving (More Importantly the Meal)

This holiday has always given me mixed emotions.  As a kid it was exciting because I was getting a four day weekend.  Also, I was going to get to drink a ridiculous amount of soda on Thanksgiving.  You can’t go wrong with less school and more sugar.  Now I still get four days off, and that is exciting, but I can’t even have sugar anymore and while excited for the four days off I am less than ecstatic about actually celebrating Thanksgiving.  The biggest reason? The food.  There is nothing good about a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  Which is ridiculous.  If we are going to be thankful and celebrate by eating a big meal maybe we should think about eating something that we actually like.  If you are starving and you say to yourself that the one thing you could really go for is a giant turkey with all the fixings then you belong in the 1950’s. 

First of all, turkey sucks.  It is always dry and the only reason people eat it other than on Thanksgiving is because it is supposed to be good for you.  You know how to tell that nobody really likes turkey and we are all just pretending? They keep trying to come up with new ways to cook it for Thanksgiving.  People have resorted to deep frying, the form of food preparation that should make everything taste better.  Still, I bet you that you take a bite and think to yourself “well this is better than an oven roasted turkey.”  Congratulations idiots and I bet you that you are also thinking how much better this fried turkey would be if it was fried chicken. 

So I am sure you are saying, “Well if you don’t like turkey, why not just eat the sides?” I am glad you brought that up.  Are you enjoying the traditional sides? I only eat the sides at Thanksgiving and you know what… if they are traditional sides I am better off not eating anything at all.  Let’s start with the stuffing.  A bunch of random grossness that spent all day cooking inside the disgusting turkey.  Everything about it is wrong.  It is mushy and full of things that shouldn’t really be mixed together but they are.  So even if I could get over the fact that it was inside the turkey while it was cooking there is nothing appealing about it – from smell to taste to the way it looks like a pile of cat vomit on the dinner table.  You know what people use it for? To eat with the turkey so it doesn’t taste so damn dry.

The other thing we use to help with the dry turkey – gravy!!!!!!!!! Hopefully it isn’t made the traditional way with leftover turkey parts to give it a good base and flavor.  (SO GROSS! Why not just take the turkey and let the dog gnaw on it for awhile to soften it up? That has to be cleaner than making gravy with leftover turkey body parts.)  Still, there the gravy is and everyone is piling it on their turkey, stuffing, and maybe mashed potatoes.  All this because the turkey is that terrible.  So we are already combining two more terrible sides to try and get this turkey down.

What about cranberries? I like fruit – in fact I really enjoy cranberries.  I feel like cranberries are good in juice form, okay in craisin form, and terrible in Thanksgiving form.  It is some disgusting paste you get served at old folks homes, school cafeterias, and prisons.  It is food but we are only steps above cat and dog food at this point.  Since I don’t really like meat, I always take a scoop or two of cranberries in an effort to not look like I despise this entire meal.

I know there always has to be some kind of potato side.  My family has always varied from sweet potatoes, which nobody likes, to some cheese butter sour cream mix that everyone eats all of.  I like potatoes so I can’t necessarily get too angry at this dish.  Still if given the choice I don’t want to eat a plate of potatoes, cranberries and bread, then top it off with a piece of pumpkin pie. Yummmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy.  A giant orange pumpkin is another thing I only thought people would eat if they were starving to death and the option was that or your friend.  (Even then I bet it is only 60/40 odds, you take one bite of that pumpkin, and suddenly it goes from 60/40 to 80/20.) 

Yet this is the meal that we wait all year to eat.  Real nice. I mean really what the hell am I being thankful for? The fact that I can afford canned goods? Originally, a turkey dinner was just a nice step up from the broth poor people were eating every other day.  (If you are currently eating broth every day feel free to tell me to go to hell and please enjoy your stupid turkey this year.)  

Still, I am pretty sure most of you aren’t that poor and you aren’t struggling to find a meal everyday.  If this is the case then why not leave the crappy, traditional Thanksgiving food in the past where it belongs? Do we just keep making it because our mom’s mom’s mom’s mom’s mom has always made this and it is tradition? Well I am sorry to say this but some traditions are meant to die.  Maybe the actual tradition was people getting together with other people they were thankful for knowing and celebrating this get together with a delicious meal.  So the turkey was good up through the 1950’s then the world started to realize there is better food out there than a big ham or turkey.  If you really like meat, how much better would a high quality steak be on Thanksgiving?  You can’t tell me you wouldn’t choose that over the turkey.  I have an idea.  Let’s go ask the people at the shelter what they will take.  Turkey? Or a really nice steak?  I put money on the steak running out first and a possible riot ensuing because the people who got there late had to eat turkey.  This is because nobody really likes these out-dated meals.  There is a reason Black Eyed Pea keeps closing restaurants.  

You aren’t sitting at work thinking about dinner for the night and thinking how awesome it would be to have a big chunk of dry turkey with some neck and giblet gravy and some gelatin paste cranberries.  You are thinking about something that is actually enjoyable.  You might even be thinking about something you wish you could have all the time but don’t because it is too expensive or bad for you.  Whatever you are thinking about when you are starving is what you should be having for dinner on Thanksgiving.  NOT TURKEY.

Broken Dreams

Kind of a downer topic to kick this whole thing off but it does help explain why the world drives me crazy.  Earlier this year a kid I know was getting ready to head off to college, and to start a conversation I asked him what his plans were.  The same question we all heard from every adult when we graduated from both high school and college.  This is the answer I get: “Well I am majoring in journalism. I want to be a sports writer.”  Stop right there.

Being the dream crusher that I am, I interrupt him.  “Why would you pay a college to become a sports writer? That is a dying industry, my friend.”  He then goes into detail about his plan to start out small… then build up some kind of Media Empire that will rival ESPN.  Hearing this, I turn to my little sister’s boyfriend, who is sitting next to me, and I tell him he needs to try and remember this moment.  Because one day we are going to see this kid again he is going to be working some random job nobody cares about.  Maybe he will be a sportswriter, but he will still wake up every day thinking the same thing we all do – how much we don’t want to go to work that day.  (If you are the one person in the world that likes going to work then please go every day, and give me the money built up from all the paid time off you didn’t use. Also, you should probably stop reading now for your sake.)  

At that moment we were on the ground floor of a dream on its way to getting broken.  It made me think back to my broken dreams coming out of high school.  When I got that standard question from adults my response was that I was planning on becoming a lawyer.  Of course, the more I would read about law school and hear about it from lawyers I realized maybe this “dream” wasn’t going to happen.  Now I realize how dumb I must have sounded to every person that asked what my plans were back then.

I think adults ask recent high school and college graduates what they are planning to do with their life not just to try and make conversation with someone they have nothing in common with, but rather as a consolation in their life to realize they will not be the only person in the world who has had their dreams crushed.  I bet that helps them get through the day.  In fact, I can’t wait to be that stupid adult figure at graduation parties that can’t relate, and asks the kids what they are planning to do with their lives. In fact, I am going to store those memories up for the day when I see the aged and bitter person that has replaced those kids.

Where does it stop? Once you are out of college, old people ask what is going on with your career.  It is such a stupid cycle. I don’t even tell people what I do now. My response is basically that I work in a cube. I know they don’t really care about it.  Are they trying to eek out more enjoyment from seeing my even further broken dreams? Maybe my new standard response will be that I work 8 hours a day to accumulate enough income to buy my weekly lottery tickets.  How sweet would that response be from some kid in high school? I would give them an extra $20 to go along with their Con”grad”ulations greeting card they already got from 30 other people solely based on the fact that they already know they have no chance.

So how many dreams have to break for you to give up hope? Should parents start early? Maybe parents are all diluted into thinking their kid is special.  Little do they know they are severely handicapping their kid’s future.  Don’t lie and tell them they can be anything they want to be.  If your kid wants to be a pro football player and he is 5’4” weighing 140lbs… maybe you should send him in a different direction.  If your genes are going to make it impossible for your little girl to be a ballet dancer, why not use your brain and tell them why it can’t happen.  Honestly, it is going to end up being better than you driving your kids around for special practices and camps.  Paying fees to other losers with their own broken dreams who are taking advantage of parents who can’t admit that their kid just isn’t going to make it as an athlete, dancer, etc.   Not only will you save yourself a bunch of misery from having to hang out with all the other kids stupid parents, you are also giving your kid a chance to find something they might actually be good at.  Don’t lie to yourself that you are being a great parent because you pay all this extra money for elite classes, leagues or whatever they are called.  If they don’t have the talent you are just setting them up for failure.  (Please don’t tell me it is going to be different when I have kids, that isn’t the subject and you are probably right.) 

People should encourage their kid to do something they actually can and the unachievable dreams won’t be there to be crushed. If some parents just took this little step, when I go to the bar on a Friday or Saturday I won’t have to listen to some jackass play in a loser band because they think they have a chance of making it big.  Listen guy or girl……..but usually guy.  You suck and your band sucks.  Feel free to keep playing in your garage with your friends.  It is a good hobby.  But if you are going to come play at the bar, please make sure your cover songs don’t suck ass and only play your original music if you want me to ask the bartender to never invite you back.  Also, realize that I am at that bar to drink, not see your stupid ass play in concert.  So don’t let it go to your head that the bar is packed.  It is the weekend and we are either tolerating your music or making a mental note to never come back if you and your crappy band are here.